The Life You Thought You'd Have By Now
I think most of us have this picture in our heads of what our twenties are supposed to look like.
And then you actually get here, and it's nothing like you imagined.
Some of your friends are getting married. Some are having babies. Some have been with the same person for years. And then there's you, still figuring out what you want, who you want, and what your life is even going to look like.
It's a weird feeling because you can be genuinely happy with your life and still wonder if you're falling behind.
And I think that's something we don't talk about enough.
The Problem
We've spent so much of our lives thinking about who we're going to end up with.
What they'll look like. How we'll meet. What our wedding will be like. What kind of relationship we'll have.
But how often have we put that same amount of thought into ourselves?
What kind of life do I actually want? What makes me happy? What do I value? What am I working toward?
It's easy to get caught up in wanting to be loved by someone that we forget to ask ourselves some pretty important questions.
And when you don't really know what you want, it's easy to start building your life around what someone else wants.
The Shift
Being single shouldn't feel like something you need to get out of.
There's so much pressure to find someone, especially when everyone around you seems to be settling down. And sometimes it can feel like you're falling behind just because your life looks a little different.
But who's to say you're behind?
You're allowed to still be figuring things out. You're allowed to change your mind, make mistakes, move somewhere new, chase a crazy goal, or have absolutely no idea what you're doing next.
And honestly, I think that's one of the best parts about this stage of life.
There's so much freedom in being able to figure things out on your own terms, without feeling like you have to follow the same timeline as everyone else.
I want to look back on these years knowing I made the most of them, instead of spending them wishing I was at a different point in my life.
Why I Wrote Becoming Her
I'm 23, and I'm single.
A lot of my friends are in completely different stages of life than I am. Some are married, some are engaged, and some already have kids.
And being around that has made me think a lot about what I want my own life to look like.
Not just who I want to marry someday, but who I want to be.
Because I think there's a difference between wanting to find someone to share your life with and feeling like you need to find someone before your life can really begin.
I wrote Becoming Her because I wanted to explore that difference.
And because I know I'm probably not the only girl who's ever felt this way.
Have you ever gone on a date and spent the whole time wondering if they liked you, only to realize you never really stopped to ask yourself if you liked them?
Or found yourself making excuses for someone because you were so caught up in what things could be that you overlooked what was actually happening?
Or looked at someone else's relationship and suddenly started questioning your own life, even though you were perfectly happy with it five minutes ago?
It's funny how much of our happiness can be influenced by things we don't even realize.
And that's what makes getting to know yourself so important.
Because once you start understanding why you think the way you do, why you're drawn to certain people, and why you sometimes accept things you know you don't deserve, you start seeing your life a little differently.
That's what I wanted Becoming Her to be.
A book that makes you stop and think. That challenges some of the things you've always believed about love, relationships, and yourself.
I want you to finish reading it with a better understanding of what you want, what matters to you, and the kind of woman you want to become.
Not because there's anything wrong with who you are right now, but because there's so much about yourself you probably haven't even discovered yet.
And I think that's the exciting part.
There's a whole version of your life you haven't experienced yet. And you get to decide what it looks like.
What This Book Is Really About
You might be surprised by what you discover about yourself.
40 pages of honest conversations about love, identity, self worth, and figuring out what you really want.